Transcript
WEBVTT
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Hello, hello and welcome back One more time.
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We are here and ready to do it again.
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If you don't know who we are by now, I am Catherine.
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And I am Michael.
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And we are so glad to be with you one more time.
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Y'all, we got a guest, or we actually got two guests today with us as we get into this conversation.
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We got RJ and Dustin.
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Would y'all say hello to our diamonds?
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What's up?
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I love that Our diamonds, how we doing diamonds, I love it.
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I love getting to be a diamond today, yeah.
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Because we're all diamonds.
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Yes, I love getting to be a diamond today.
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Yeah, because we're all diamonds.
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Yes, and that's that's our philosophy here that you know, Jesus has given us beautiful ashes and it's just an awesome thing to really just walk in him, a man, and tackle life and go into this and go into that with that in mind.
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And this season, this is perfect for where we're going, impacting the world, Amen.
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And you know, your brand and what you're standing for is awesome because it's teaching about balance and we need balance to really be impactful in our society.
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And so, before we go any further, we are going to pray and then we're going to get into it.
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Okay.
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Well, before we do.
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I got to say this Because this got dropped in my spirit just now when you said it's two guests.
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See, we got to realize because God's word says if there be two, if there be two that agree.
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So there's four right here agreeing.
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There's four right here agreeing.
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There's four right here agreeing.
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So you got to think can we all agree that Jesus is the way?
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Jesus is the way.
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Amen to that Amen 100%.
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So let us pray.
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Dear Heavenly Father, our Lord and our Savior, jesus Christ, we come to you right now saying thank you.
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We thank you for your grace and your mercy.
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We thank you for your love and kindness and tender mercy.
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We beg your forgiveness for anything we might have said, done or thought that's not pleasing to your sight.
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That your grace forgive us and cast us back into the pits of hell where it came from.
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We counsel any assignment of the enemy that will be sent back into the pit of hell where it came from, for he has no power, no dominion, no authority.
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But, according to your word, you say that we do, and we decree it and declare it that we have the authority, the power and the dominion, that we must just walk in it and trust you.
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We pray in the name of Jesus for the ones that has no desire to know who you are.
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We pray in the name of Jesus for the ones who do know who you are but don't know how to reach you.
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We pray in the name of Jesus interceding for the ones that pray for me.
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We pray in the name of Jesus interceding for everybody on their behalf of knowing who you are.
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We decree it and we declare it, we ask these things all in jesus mighty and max's name.
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We say thank you and we say amen, amen and amen, amen.
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So, guys, tell us who you are as we jump in.
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We're gonna dive head first.
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Tell us who we are and what you're all about, what you're doing, yeah love it.
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I'm gonna go age before beauty.
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Oh dang it just once.
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I don't want my age to come up in the first three minutes, but it happens.
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So, in the broad sense, uh, so I'm rj, by the way, so people can start figuring out the voices I'm the old one, and together we are, as we refer, the pioneers of the balanced business dad movement.
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Sometimes we refer to it as a ministry, because somebody pointed that out to us one of the last times we were all together.
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So we're here in suburbs of beautiful St Louis, missouri enjoying a fall day, and we started this movement about a year and a half ago With our goal, we say, is just to be better tomorrow than you are today, and we want to help business dads fathers to do the same thing.
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That's our core mission really.
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Things have grown since then, but we base everything on the six pillars of life that we identified when putting this together, which are in order of importance.
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By the way, this is the priority order is your faith, your health, your marriage, fatherhood, brotherhood and your business, purposefully put last, although we know most men that we deal with have it first.
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So that's it.
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That is a very quick summary of what the balanced business dad is as far as for me, RJ.
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So I'm a Christian, I'm a dad, I'm an empty nester, I have three grown kids, all married, and an entrepreneur.
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At this point, I own a couple of businesses, some with Dustin, who I'll turn it over to now so he can introduce himself.
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Hey guys.
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So, coach Dustin, I'm a coach.
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I coach mostly businesses, but a lot of life, a lot of real estate.
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I coach mostly businesses, but a lot of life, a lot of real estate.
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And yeah, like RJ said, we started the balance business about a year and a half ago.
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Rj and I have known each other for years and I was actually coaching RJ and his wife on real estate and how to invest in other quite well during that time and it was funny because I was for lack of a better word using RJ as a mentor, as a husband and a father.
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You know, his kids are closer to my age than I am his age and they are all pretty good people in society.
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So I was like, oh, I want that.
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And his wife and him just celebrated 35 years of marriage and she still seems to like him.
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I'm like, oh, I want that.
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And his wife and him just celebrated 35 years of marriage and she still seems to like him.
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I'm like, oh, I want that, right, so I'm going to model that.
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And so I was leaning on him, probably without him knowing it, but as a mentor and a father, in those two things, while he was using me as a coach in business and entrepreneurship While he was using me as a coach in business and entrepreneurship, and I had a coach at the time and my coach said who is your ideal person to coach?
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And immediately I said the business dad, because that's who I am.
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And we started talking about doing a podcast and the next thing you know we always say that it started one night at a bar, like all good stories, and we just knew our life was good.
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But what else, what else could it be?
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And that's where the six pillars, like RJ just mentioned, came from.
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And it was interesting because I have coached so many men that had that so out of whack because they were so focused on their business.
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I'm like, yeah, but do your kids know you?
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Does your spouse know you?
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I have an interesting health journey, so I knew how important health was and we all know that we're just stewards for all everything that we have.
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We're just being a steward for God, right, and so it's like we got to start there, because he's the one who are giving us these gifts that we're working so hard on.
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So we have to grow deeper in our faith to have it.
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Yeah absolutely so.
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That's the balanced business I love that introduction yeah.
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I really love it because you're something you said and I just want to, you know, piggyback on it.
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You know you say while you was coaching him, you know you was quote him, you know you was quote unquote using him.
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But we got to understand that when we go through things in life where we are coaching or teaching, we're learning at the same time.
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And I say that because you know we might be coaching somebody on an area of their life and just use faith for an example.
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You know it's not only teaching them about faith, but it's actually growing our faith as well.
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Yeah, so it's almost like we're burning the torch at both ends we're gaining more concept and insight on it, as well as teaching what we already know.
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Yeah.
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Absolutely insight on it as well as teach them what we already know.
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Yeah, absolutely so with the topic at hand.
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And why do I need faith?
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Uh, what is your thought in, in, in, especially since that's your first pillar?
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Uh, in um, this model that you all are living and following.
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Why do I need faith To be impactful?
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Start with that.
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Yeah, yeah, to be impactful.
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Why do I need faith?
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Yeah, so, both of us being Christians, and that's where this, you know, first and foremost, that's where it starts.
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And so, as a Christian, you believe that everything we're doing is a gift from God and we're giving it up because of God.
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It's all in Jesus's name.
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So that's why, for us, I mean faith is number one in our lives.
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I think each one of us either one, if you'd ask us who we are the first answer we're going to say is a Christian, then probably a husband or a father.
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So we knew that faith just had to be the very first thing.
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It's what we use as our guidepost for everything.
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There was somebody that I think was on one of our podcasts and said that's his decision making.
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If he wants to do something.
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He asked would God be pleased with me doing it?
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Would my wife be pleased with me doing it, and would my kids be proud of me for doing it?
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He said I very rarely.
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If you get a no on any of them, you're going to stop.
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You very rarely get to number two, because you're not going to say if God doesn't want you to, he might be okay.
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But let me see what my wife thinks.
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So that became a guidepost.
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So for us, faith had to be number one and faith to us.
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We talk a lot of times about faith with a big F and faith with a little F.
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There's a lot of faith in our life.
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Dustin's used the thought he said before you have faith when you're driving that the car coming the other way isn't going to cross that yellow line.
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We have faith when we get home that the thermostat's going to work.
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There's so much that we have that.
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We just have faith in things and our events.
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But the big F faith, that's where we derive something, that's where we derive everything from, that's where we make all our decisions.
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It's how we built the other pillars below it, because we knew our faith was number one.
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Amen.
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So faith is definitely a major, major component to getting where it is that God desires you to go.
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Diamonds, I mean, I don't know how else we can say it, because all four of us have the same thought and it's been deposited from the Father himself the way that we think and you're not crazy because you believe in faith.
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You know what I mean.
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A lot of people, the world, will make you think that you're crazy because you live by your faith, and we're all here to say there is nothing wrong with living by faith.
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As a matter of fact, it's an expectation that Jesus requires of all of us.
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And balance in order to stay balanced.
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Faith, like it's already been said, you got a big f and a little f.
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It's in everything it really is.
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So anybody else have any thoughts in in in regard to anything said thus far?
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I would definitely say that we got to understand that faith is not only a must, but it's also entwined with trust, because you know, not only and just you think.
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For example, you have faith that that car is not going to cross the line.
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Okay, what about sitting in a chair?
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We got to have faith, or trust, that that chair is not going to break.
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And there's an anonym that I like to use with the word faith Forsaken all, I trust him, meaning that forgetting everything that could possibly go wrong in life, at the end of the day, I'm going to trust God.
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Amen.
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So how, with everything that has been said thus far in your model and your framework, how do you help men?
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Why men in particular?
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Great question and I honestly think it went back to that question.
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When I was building my coaching practice and my coaching business to not just be real estate investors.
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My coach which I believe all good coaches should have a coach right my coach said who is your ideal client?
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And immediately I said the word business dad and I believe God put that on my heart at that point and I didn't know what it meant and, honestly, a year and a half ago, rj and I did not know what the balanced business dad was or what it was going to be, and I still think it's growing.
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Yet we knew we were men, we knew we were dads, we knew we were business dads and we had seen the challenges and the hardships that a lot of these other business dads because we hung out in the same circles were having.
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And, like I said, I had coached a lot of people and when they start bringing to me the amount of money they made and things like that, my first question was well, do your kids like you Right?
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Does your wife like you Right?
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Because that's what matters at the end of the day.
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And I have Again, my kids are a lot younger.
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My kids are 6 and 3.
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So I'm a new father and I'm learning through it, and it's not easy.
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There's not a book that says this is how you be this awesome business, dad.
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And yet I knew there was different sections of life that were important to us and we had to keep them all up in the air at the same time.
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So balancing is a verb, it's not a noun.
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We're constantly doing it and what we've realized is is there ever true balance?
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No, yet we strive for it, but really balance is being present in the pillar you're supposed to be in.
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When I'm with God and I'm growing and I'm learning in my faith, I need to be present.
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I need to be where my feet are.
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When I'm with the time with my wife, same thing.
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But I also need to be very present with my kids.
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I need to be present with my friends.
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Men don't have a lot of brothers anymore.
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Right, you might have a beer friend here and there, but you're really not.
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You're having these surface level conversations and I want to push through that.
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And when it's time to work, it's time to work.
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Be present in your work, go to work.
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That way you can leave work and it's funny and not to take too much of this.
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But somebody said, oh, you're doing man work, you're working with men and stuff like that, and I didn't realize the challenge that that was.
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At the beginning of this year I threw two business conferences and I sold out in a week and a half as soon as I put tickets on sale to talk to people how to have a better business, learn that kind of thing.
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We put on a workshop a month ago a month and a half ago now for business dads and it was like pulling teeth to get dads to come there to say, hey, I need help.
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It's very hard for a man to say, hey, I do need help in this and I want to get better in this.
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And at that point I realized if a tree falls on my house today, I can make a phone call and all these guys are going to be there.
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But if I say, hey, I want to help you become a better husband and a better father and a better leader, they're like, no, I'm good, but if you need that tree off your house, I got you Right.
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Men need a mission and what we have to realize is we are the mission.
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You are the mission first, and it starts with God.
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That's profound, that is a real profound thing.
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And you know, as a guy a male as well as a father you know it is hard for us guys to actually say we need help, because we look at it as like it's almost like and I hate to use this word, but it's true.
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It's almost like and I hate to use this word, but it's true, it's almost like a generational curse, seeing that us men, as men, we used to be the strong foundation, but at the end of the day we got to realize, look, there's some times that we get to a point in life that it's okay to ask for help.
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It's okay that sometimes, as men, we need that time to vent and cry.
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At times we need that time where we just need a hug, even if and I'm going to say this like this because you know people look at it as wrong for a male to hug a male.
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But sometimes we need that embracement from a male to know that what we're going through, maybe they've been through that already and they can help us with just that hug.
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So it's okay to hug that man, it's okay to cry, it's okay to say I need help.
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It is hard and it's even okay to say I need help.
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It is hard and it's even harder to say it than to live it out.
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It is.
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Yeah, that's a lot where this came from, and I'm a hugger, by the way.
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Dustin knows to stay away.
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And one of the original.
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The early thoughts on this was working with the men's groups at my church and the pastor that heads up the men's work and the men's groups always struggles to pull off new events or just men's Bible studies.
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Attendance is really hard to get the women's groups oh yeah, they show up all the time.
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Theirs are always full.
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The men's group will start something and then a little wane, go away and then there's nobody there again.
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It's nonstop and it just feeds right into this.
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Men are fixers.
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Oh, I got this, I'm good, I don't need to show up, I got it all figured out, I know what I'm doing and we've seen it just bleed right over from that same thing of trying to get a men's group at church off the ground is difficult and we're seeing it now with the men we deal with and we naturally say we're good and it's funny, at our church you know that they had the same challenges.
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But there's also a big uh non-for-profit that they support, which is where they build beds for local in our local community for people to sleep on, and that day, 125 guys will show up with their drills.
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All right, we got to build something, let's build.
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We got to build a bed.
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We're not going to talk about things, but I'll build that bed.
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Right, yeah, yeah, we do what we call the backpack attack, where we load up school supplies.
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At the beginning of every year People donate backpacks and then all kinds of supplies.
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Well, on that final Sunday then everybody has to get there to pack them up, load them on the trucks.
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Yeah, there'll be 56 men there for that how God has strategically created man to be the provider, to be the fixer, to be the strong one, quote unquote and the women come alongside to be the helpmate.
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And so, with that being said, how, with the man in mind, can y'all picture I believe it's the scriptures, first corinthians, chapter 13, and he said when I became a man, put away childish things.
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What's y'all's thought in in perspective of man, of a man?
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What is your thoughts?
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Uh, I would say michael, dustin and rj, what are y'all y'all's thoughts in regard to that particular verse in the love chapter?
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About 1 Corinthians, chapter 13?
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I'm not sure if I'm familiar with the scripture, but I would say he'll read it.
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He'll read it for you so I got my phones right up there, so I can't pull up my bible app without getting up, and it's actually 1.
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Corinthians and that's one of my favorite scriptures, by the way, too.
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It's 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, verse 11, which says in King James Version when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
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That's good.
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I know that one, you know to be a man to put away those childish things.
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It's, it's a lot of, and if you bring it back in, you know the, the almost the secular world today.
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To put away the childish activities and the that, the pastimes that you're going to do, because you are becoming the provider, you are becoming the foundation, and things grow from the foundation.
00:21:24.962 --> 00:21:27.316
Right, Everybody needs to have a strong foundation.
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Anything needs to have a strong foundation to grow.
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So to be that man, I need to be the leader, the faith leader, in my household to provide faith for them, to teach them about God, to walk alongside God.
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Right, it's the same thing in my marriage as well, the same thing to pray for my wife on a daily basis, you know, for her faith to grow, for her needs to be met.
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And it's also to do that in my business.
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Right, because we're a leader in our businesses and I have to show up with a firm foundation, and I don't believe a firm foundation happens without God.
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Right, right.
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And to be that foundation to me is what it means to be a man, yeah.
00:22:12.210 --> 00:22:12.310
RJ.
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Yeah, so I'm thinking listening to the last couple of your podcasts, because October was man Month.
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It sounds like from the podcast that you just had.
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Yes, sir.
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And when we first started talking about this all the time, and especially as Jesus tells us that we need to be the faith leader we were put on earth to.
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Basically, you know it's a hard one for me to go into and I'll tell you why in a minute.
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But you know, take care of women.
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They're here for you know, for us, to give them protection, security, make them feel heard and safe, and that's definitely what the message is for us.
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I mean, we want to be the modern man Now, a modern man, as we joke, but without sword shields and a Spartan helmet, but the modern man that's sensitive yet knows that they're the leader, the faith leader, the family leader, the business leader.
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And where I say that that was something at the very beginning of this, when I would speak about that, as I grew up in a female household, I had a father and he was there, but we were drastically outnumbered because I have five big sisters and a mother and my father traveled all the time.
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So, as I say, I grew up swimming in the estrogen ocean.
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So if there's anybody that's around strong women, it was me.
